WALK TALL

Prior to the publication of this book I asked a number of friends to review and comment upon it. None of them however suffer from tinnitus.

When we got together to discuss it, the first comment made by one of the group rather took me aback. Having known me for a number of years he was not aware that I had tinnitus. The same sentiment was expressed by the other members of the group.

This was followed by a question and answer session – What is it like? How loud is it? etc.

Following my graphic descriptions, one of the girls got up and came round to give me a cuddle. ‘Oh you poor dear and we didn’t even know’ she whispered in my ear. I think I rather enjoyed my moment of sympathy. When I noticed her husbands bemused look and raised eyebrows I thought it would be better not to enjoy it for too long.

On the positive side they all said how much they had enjoyed reading it and how my humorous style had masked what must have been a traumatic time. As none of them suffered from tinnitus and like most people had no real idea of what it is like they could not offer any constructive criticism on whether my discovery would work or not.

On the negative side some thought that I did not go into enough detail about what causes tinnitus. They said that if they ever developed it they would want to know as much about it as possible.

My counter argument was that there are already many medical books on the market, which discuss possible causes in detail, and that similar information is available on the Internet. I said that in my opinion people suffering from tinnitus want to know how to cure it. Knowing the cause without the cure would be a useful as a cardboard beak to a woodpecker. It was then suggested that I include it anyway as a book should contain at least 2-300 pages and that would help to pad it out.

‘But I can’t stand unnecessary padding’ I said becoming perhaps a little too exasperated. ‘It really annoys me. When I am reading a book and get to the bit where a woman who has escaped from a gang of thugs finally emerges from a jungle where she spent a terrifying night, I don’t want to know about her stopping to admire a dewdrop on a dark green leaf glistening in the early morning sunshine. I don’t care that it reminds her of when she was a little girl and her father took her to a garden centre in the Lake District to buy some tropical plants for the garden in their new weekend bolthole. I want to know how she is going to avoid being clawed to death by the lion which has been stalking her and is now only ten yards behind her and ready to pounce when her only means of escape is across a crocodile infested river. I just flick the pages to get back to the story’.

‘Ah Ha’ said one of my friends with a distinctly ‘gotcha’ type of look on his face. ‘If that’s the case why did you spend so much time writing about your journey and the things that happened to you. Isn’t that padding’? When someone has been kind enough to read your book and spends even more time coming round to discuss it with you I feel that you owe them at least one ‘gotcha’; so I gave a rather nonchalant shrug of my shoulders and said ‘I guess it seemed like a good idea at the time’.

I feel that I owe you a more truthful answer.

You and I have something in common. We both have tinnitus. I well remember how I felt in my dark days so I have personal experience of how you feel. I wanted you to get to know me. During our journey together I wanted you to relax. I hoped that there would be times when you would become unaware of the noise albeit for brief moments. Yes I adopted a lighthearted approach to a serious subject because that is exactly what I want you to do. I wanted you to laugh with me or even at me. I wanted you to feel that you were with someone that you could trust and gently lead you to the point were you no longer need me.

I truly hope that I have succeeded in my endeavor. If I have failed it is because of my own shortcomings. Whatever you think of me do not let that diminish the incredible power that you know that you have within you. Allow it to work for you even if I have failed.

You now have the opportunity to walk tall and I mean really tall. Rise to the challenge and be proud of your achievement. Your friends and loved ones will admire you more than you could ever imagine. By giving yourself back your own life you will be giving them back theirs. Right now make up your mind that you are no longer going to allow something as pathetic as a noise to dictate your life and cause others to worry about you.